Jan's Top Ten Billy Lists

Jan's Top Ten Little Known Facts about the Billies:

10. They 're actually all named William. [after their mother]

9.   They really know two Broadway Show tunes.

8.   They were the President's first choice for Secretary of the Interior, but couldn't spell    "sekretery".

7.   Elvis Billy does an excellent Sinatra impersonation. [Nancy, that is.]

6.   They 've never actually seen River Dance.

5.   They are all audio-animatronic and were moved from the old "America Sings" attraction.

4.   Some of them are married, but not to each other.

3.   They actually have a rehearsal budget, but blew it all on their snappy wardrobe.

2.   They don't like it when Pa puts "possum on the table. They prefer squirrel meat.

1.    This fact is so little known that it doesn't exist. [?]

The DBC Message Board's You Know You're Addicted to Billy Hill and the Hillbillies if..........

* It is Tuesday and you don't even go to the park because there are no Billies. -Claudia

* Your office desk is covered with Billy pictures and their CD is blaring. -Juli

* You know how many tables and chairs there are in the Horseshoe, just off the top of your head. -Jan

* If you've seen more than 1000 shows and still hope to see 1000 more. -Jan

* You know the fake names that they use when they are away from the 'shoe. -Verne

* You bring your camcorder to the Rainforest Cafe to watch taped Billy shows while you wait for your table. -Amber

* You send a box plastered with Billy pictures to another fan.- DA

* You call in sick from work to go to a Billy show. -Marti

* You drive 65 miles round trip just to see one Billy show, and then leave...even on Christmas Day. -Verne and Juli

* You spend 100's of dollars and driving hours to see them do a show you've seen 100's of times before and still enjoy it like it's the first time.- Jan

* You get their faces tattooed on your butt. -anonymous

* Your four children are named Billy, Billy, Billy and William [and two of them are girls.] -Erik

* You dream that the Billies are scheduled to play in DCA on Tuesdays and Wednesdays.- Amber

* You use Tuesdays and Wednesdays as "ride days". - Mimi

* You occasionally get 3 other people together and do Puddle Prance. -Claudia

* Your spouse and child openly worry about your obsession.- Juli

* While you go around Disneyland, you sing Billy songs by heart. -Claudia

* Your piano students know more about the Billies than they do about Mozart and Beethoven. -Margaret

* Your piano students think that the William Tell Overture was written originally for mandolin. -Margaret

* When you go to the park on their days off, you check the board to see if by chance they are playing. -Claudia

* If you snort digital photos of them up your nose. -Art

* you ask Dick Clark to consider creating a TV awards show with categories such as "Best Overalls." -anonymous.

Jan's Top Ten Ways that the Billies keep busy between shows:

10. Fatting up the possums and cleaning their cages.

9.   Playing mumbly peg with real mumblies.

8.   Watching old "Hee-Haw" videos.

7.   Swimming laps in the Rivers of America

6.   Tweezing stray bow hairs.

5.   Flossing Elvis Billy's pro-teeth-is.

4.   Throwing darts at old Woody posters.

3.   Making collect calls to the Psychic Hot-line and saying, "Guess who this is?"

2.   Preparing the possum burgers for the next show's guests.

1.   Composing e-mails to fans.

Jan's Top Ten Broadway Show Tunes rejected by the Billies:

10. "I feel Pretty"  from West Side Story.

9.   "I am 16, going on 17"  from The Sound of Music.

8.   "Boy For Sale"  from Oliver.

7.   "It takes a Woman"  from Hello Dolly.

6.   "I Don't Know How to Love Him"  from Jesus Christ Superstar.

5.   "How Lovely To Be a Woman"   from Bye Bye Birdie

4.   " I'm Just A Girl Who Can't Say No"  from Oklahoma.

3.  "Gonna Wash That Man Right Out of My Hair"  from South Pacific

2.  "Look At Me, I'm Sandra Dee"  from Grease.

1.  "I Enjoy Being a Girl"   from Flower Drum Song.

Jan's Top Ten Things I've Learned from The Billies:

13.  That Green Acres is the place to be, if you're into farm livin'.

12.  If you slap your chest long enough, someone will turn up your volume.

11.  There's nothing like a good possum joke.

10.  Never breath in when you're bowing up.

9.    Don't get down unless you're sure you can get back up.

8.    People from the mountains of Santa Monica aren't necessarily great surfers.

7.    Always duck when Billy Elvis removes his hat.

6.    Don't use your computer after 11 pm or two beers.

5.    Classical music don't put possum on the table.

4.    Never dance near the fiddle player.

3.    It's ok to wear colors that clash, if you're in "show business".

2.    You should always clap when a train is going downhill.

1.    Some hillbillies are attracted to the sight of cupcakes.

Jan's Top Ten Reasons that Area 51 should continue........

10.  It gives DA an open forum for pushing his Ice Cream/taxidermy business.

9.    It gives Claudia time to herself after dinner.

8.    It has really cute pictures.

7.    It keeps DA's fingers nimble.

6.    It gives DA an excuse to take pictures of cute hirls at Disneyland.

5.    So that all of Disneyland's mysteries can be photographed and explained.

4.    It gives the DBC and other Billy fans their weekly "Billy" fix.

3.    So DA will continue to receive compensation from the 2 cents that Debbie Brewer sends to him weekly.

2.    To prevent him from selling his computer to purchase more Goofy pins.

1.    It keeps DA off the streets of Covina at night.

The DBC Message Board's Top Ten Uses for the Mouse-ka-meal plates:

10. To hold your collectable pins in. -Jan

9.   To use as a Mouse-shaped frisbee. -Jan

8.   For those informal dinners in front of the TV. -DA

7.   For doggie dinners.....Biscuit and Jimmy Dean just luv to eat out of them. -Margaret

6.   Really fun Jello molds. -Deb Brewer

5.   Build your own Doo-hickey out of 'em. -Erik

4.   For winter-time flying saucer sledding fun on the Matterhorn. -Amber

3.   Chips in face, guacamole in left ear, salsa in right ear for a hot night. -KAT

2.   High fashion ear rings for those low wind days. -DA

1.   ??????

10. To swat the gnats that float overhead as you race past Grizzly River Rapids.

9.   Roll tightly into an antenna shape to help improve your cell phone reception.

8.   Use as a really creative and "cheap" source of wallpaper.

7.   To help you figure out how many times you’ve been to that park this past week.

6.   Save in mint condition and sale on E-bay in 50 years for $6 million dollars.

5.   To wrap your left-over waffle fries in while waiting for California Soarin’

4.   As a "thicker" style straw for slurping your soup in a bread bowl.

3.   To make paper airplanes out of, so you can launch them from the top of the Ferris Wheel.

2.   As something clean to sit on while waiting for the Electrical Parade.

1.   Fold into a nifty bear hat, instead of paying $18. to buy one.

10.  Use as a place mat for your chili fries at the Horseshoe.

9.   Tear and fold bits into "really cool" jewelry.

8.   As a prop to help with your disguise as a tourist.

7.   Roll and use as a telescope for spotting pirates in the Blue Bayou

6.   To play horn accompaniment to "Rocky Top’ during a Billy show.

5.   As a tour guide icon to be raised above your head while leading entire Japanese Tour groups astray.

4.   For discipling unruly "guests’ during the Billy Tell Overture.

3.   To help amplify your "scary’ Haunted Mansion voice during the elevator ride of doom.

2.   To improve the quality of your Darth Vader impression while riding Star Tours.

1.   To use for shooting spit balls at the hippos in the Jungle Cruise in lieu of firearms.

More Top Ten's to come................

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